The end of employment

As of May 31, I'm unemployed. I guess since I work as a consultant, technically (and hopefully) I am "between contracts". I'm not really sure at this point how long I will be off before I get more work, so I'm trying to make the most of it.

For the past three years, I've been doing full-time consultant work for a provincial government department. For all intents and purposes, it was like being an employee. So, the end of my time with this department was more than just the end of a contract. I have worked along side the same group people for most of that three years and many of them have become very close friends.

It was also a bit tough to deal with the way this work experience ended. In January of this year, I walked away from a contract that would have lasted until September 2008 to accept an offer of a contract on a different project. The new contract was shorter, but held much more promise because this project extends into 2009 and possibly beyond. When I accepted the offer, it was with the understanding that an extension was not guaranteed but it was fairly safe to assume that there would be much more work to do moving forward.

When I found out that my contract would not be extended, it was quite a shock. The project is continuing on and there is lots of work to do. The work I did during my time on the project was greatly praised and I have been assured that the lack of extension has nothing to do with me. You can see how I had a hard time to understand the decision!

The last month of work was emotionally exhausting. It seemed that each of my co-workers (over 30 of them) heard the news about my contact one-by-one and came to me to ask why. I found myself feeling that I had to try to defend a decision I didn't understand or agree with in order to remain professional and not burn any bridges. My co-workers were confused and frustrated by the decision, but so supportive of me. One of them offered to start a petition :) I felt very appreciated but, after a few weeks of these almost-daily conversations, I was ready to get away from the negativity and just go home.

I know this sounds quite melodramatic, but it really has been a difficult experience for me. I think what made it hurt like it did was that I felt so passionate about this project. I am so proud to have been part of the team, even for a few months. I wanted to carry on with the progress, success, and celebrations. I wouldn't trade this experience, even now that I know how the story ends.

So, that's why I have lots of time on my hands now to blog, plant flowers, clean my house, and contemplate what I hope to do next.